Let’s talk about the U.S. border.
Yes, that border—the one that’s been in the news more times than the Kardashians, and with roughly the same amount of drama, but fewer makeup tutorials. After years of political ping-pong, vague promises, finger-pointing, and press conferences that sounded like someone explaining a traffic jam with sock puppets, someone finally did something about it.
Donald J. Trump.
That’s right. The man who once suggested buying Greenland, challenged windmills to a duel, and made red baseball caps a national lightning rod, somehow managed to do the one thing no president in recent memory could: actually secure the U.S. southern border.
Now, whether you love him, loathe him, or think he’s just a rejected pro-wrestling character that got loose and ran for office, you’ve got to admit: this was a real policy move. Not a think tank white paper. Not a "task force" made entirely of people who have never been south of New Jersey. This was actual border enforcement. Physical barriers. Increased patrol. Technology. Legal clarity. You know, like a country.
Meanwhile, in the Land of Former Administrations...
Let’s rewind briefly. The previous administration had a different approach to the border. That approach was: shrug flamboyantly, look confused, blame climate change, and tell people to just stop coming already. They issued public service announcements in Guatemala that sounded like your aunt telling people not to come over for Thanksgiving but then baking a full turkey and leaving the door open.
The result? Historic surges in illegal crossings, overwhelmed cities, and mayors in Chicago and New York nervously Googling, “How to build a wall but still look progressive.”
When asked about their strategy, the answer was usually something like:
“The border is secure… but also overwhelmed… but also functioning… but also not our fault.”
In short, it was like watching someone try to put out a house fire while excusing the flames.
Enter Trump: Subtlety Optional
Trump took a different approach. One that involved less nuance and more action—like a sledgehammer wearing a tie. He doubled down on wall construction, tightened asylum rules, reinstated “Remain in Mexico,” and used immigration enforcement like a parent finally coming home after their teenager threw a house party and released 3,000 raccoons.
Was it controversial? Yes. Was it chaotic? Absolutely. Did it make the previous policies look like they were written on a napkin during brunch at an NPR fundraiser? Also yes.
Say what you will about the man’s tone, syntax, or manners, but under his administration, border encounters plummeted. Coyotes (the smuggling kind, not the desert dogs) had to pivot into new business models, like Uber for cactus farms.
The Media Response: Loud Whining
Naturally, many in the media were not thrilled. They preferred the previous approach of doing nothing but writing deeply concerned opinion pieces about it. Trump, on the other hand, forced the conversation into uncomfortable territory by actually changing the outcomes.
This made a lot of Very Smart People on television scramble to explain how results are less important than intentions, and how the real solution was empathy, drones, and possibly interpretive dance.
Meanwhile, border agents just quietly went back to doing their jobs without being asked to process 10,000 people a day like a human stamp machine.
Conclusion: Say What You Will, the Man Shut the Door
Here’s the deal. You don’t have to love Trump. You don’t even have to like him. But if you’re being honest—and not just virtue signaling on Twitter from a wine tasting—you have to admit the guy did something about the border.
And in doing so, he didn’t just close the door. He turned around, locked it, threw away the key, and shouted, “YOU’RE WELCOME,” while moonwalking into a press conference.
Whether you see that as leadership or lunacy, it made the previous administration’s policies look like someone tried to guard the house by putting up a sign that said, “Please don’t rob us. It’s not nice.”
And in politics, results tend to speak louder than hashtags.
Disclaimer: If you were offended by this article, please know it was written while I was trapped in a hallway with someone I barely know, and I panicked.
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