Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Catalog Page Beats TP, Tests Show!

In a stunning development, studies have shown that Grandpa might have known what he was doing back in the old days! A recent $34 Billion study has found that pages from a catalog actually cleanse the rectal area following bowel evacuation 89% more efficiently than even the most highly touted super absorbant toilet tissue. This amazing study conducted by Yarmouth University Bio-Technology Institute of Research and Development found that the old fashioned "page out of the catalog" got the job done better that any leading toilet paper.

"We think it has to do with the crinkles." said Dr. Jeff Hovard, lead researcher "I mean all those crinkles really dig in there and get that [stuff] out of there."

Coming in second in the study was corn cobs. Toilet tissue came in a distant third.

"Just goes to show you... new aint always better." added Dr. Hovind as he disappeared into a restroom with a catalog under his arm. "More research coming up..." he quipped as the door shut.

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