Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Let's NUKE Liberalism!

I found a website called "Meme Patrol". It is subtitled "Debunking the Right Wing Narrative". They don't so much debunk the right wing, as spew forth the liberal left-wing wack-job POV with a good dose of snarky smartassyness. So let's go through all this crap, shall we? (my comments are in italics)

EVOLUTION IS JUST A THEORY
So is Creationism. The difference is that one theory has a fossil record, a DNA record and stacks of physical evidence; the other has a 2,000 year-old book that is full of myths, contradictions and easily disprovable statements. The large majority of Christian denominations, including Catholics and Anglicans believe that evolution is part of God's plan and does not conflict in any way with their faith. Why the press lets the Fundamentalists set the agenda is anyone's guess.

Actually there is a HUGE difference. Evolution is based in science and Creationism is based on religion. No sane person disputes the fact that evolution exists. Just not THEIR kind of evolution. Their kind of evolution really resembles a religion, complete with faith, core beliefs, dogma, high-priests (essentially), and televangelists (essentially). Also, there are no myths in the Bible. There are no doctrinal contradictions either. Really this has all been hashed out and waylaid by better people than me.

THE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE CONSERVATIVES
The truth is that the Founding Fathers were Liberals -- the Conservatives, known then as Tories, wanted to stay British. After the Revolution many of them repatriated to England, like their good buddy, Benedict Arnold.

This argument was LAAAAME! No one I know says the founding fathers were conservatives back then. At the time they were revolutionaries. But the things they stood for, and established, and believed in (unto death) certainly don't resemble the views of our modern day liberal lefty. To find views that are more closely allied to those of our founding fathers, one must look at the conservatives. WE are the ones trying to preserve what our FF's established. Not tear it all down and change it, like liberals do.

LET'S GET BACK TO THE CONSTITUTION'S "ORIGINAL INTENT"
Want to get back to the original intent of slavery? The original intent of not letting women and blacks vote? The original intent of letting state legistatures appoint U.S. Senators instead of voting for them? Good luck with that.

You just conveniently ignored the amendments. By the way, there is NOTHING in the constitution that establishes slavery. Can you find it? Didn't think so.

LOWERING TAXES ON BILLIONAIRES WILL CREATE JOBS
The bill in question will cancel the tax break billionaires already get when it expires. So, right now, billionaires are paying the lowered taxes. If it's not creating any jobs now, why would it create jobs in the future?

Gee wiz, take an economics course... by a conservative. Go ahead... see what you're missing. Let me ask you a question, and I want you to think real hard... do poor people create jobs? Hmmm... never thought of that did you?

PAYING PEOPLE NOT TO WORK
Unemployment benefits are insurance paid by employers for their employees. People who didn't want to work can't get these benefits. The real Paying People Not to Work program is the Republican plan to keep rich kids who never worked a day in their lives from having to pay taxes on their parent's estates. God forbid these "patriots" should pay taxes to the country that gave them so much for doing so little.

Maybe we should throw these ungrateful rich bastards in jail! Talk about class envy and divisiveness. Why are you so anti-wealth? Are you jealous? Why don't you work hard and try to become rich yourself instead of praying the federal government will turn totalitarian and "level the playing field" so to speak. Remember whatever the government gives you, it can also take away. Furthermore, if you want to talk about "paying people not to work" how about the millions of able bodied people that are jamming the welfare rolls and voting straight democratic? Liberals and their out-of-control spending has just about bankrupted our country!

WHERE IS GLENN BECK'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE?
Can he prove he was born here? That salute to the crowd looks a little German.

Aw. Glen is bothering you isn't he? By the way, he bothers many conservatives too. But not nearly as bad as the lefties.

NEW YORK MOSQUE
The Republicans would rather talk about anything than the economic mess they've left us in. The mosque is a squirrel they've released for the idiot press to chase.

The mosque is a politico-religious move on the part of Sharia activists to send a message to the rest of the Islamic world that Islam is about to claim America. If you think that it isn't about that, you have your head somewhere beside the sand.

TAKE OUR COUNTRY BACK
Take it back from whom? From the voters who elected Barack Obama by a 10 million vote margin in 2008? What is it about democracy that the Tea Baggers don't like? Why does no one in the press even ask?

Tea Baggers... cute. The movement was named after the Boston Tea party not Barney Frank's (D) favorite pass-time. Anyway, We (conservatives) want to take our country back from the politically correct, morally bankrupt, intellectually confused, extremist, arrogant, class-envying, socialist, enviro-looney, left wing nut-jobs that have hijacked a perfectly good party (The Democratic party) and made it into the party for every bizarre anti-American viewpoint in existence. You want to turn America into France. It isn't working over there, and it won't work here.

THE TEABAGGER VOTE PLUS THE REPUBLICAN VOTE EQUAL DEFEAT FOR DEMOCRATS
Excuse me, lazy over-paid pundits, but Teabaggers are Republicans. None of them voted Democratic or Progressive before, so there is no net change in the number of right wing voters. Better yet, they will split the Republican vote in some contests. Don't bash the Tea Party. They are doing God's work for us.

God's work? Oh, so now you're religious? Please. Have you ever heard of the undecided vote? They are going Tea Party/conservative/republican in droves. Wake up lefties... Your Enlightened Ruler, Obama, is killing your party. On second thought don't wake up. Keep saying how wonderful Biden, Obama, Reid and Pelosi are. Yuck.

THE REPUBLICAN PLAN TO GET AMERICA BACK TO WORK
Ban gay marriages, deport cheap farm laborers, teach Creationism, post the Ten Commandments in schools and courthouses and give the rich even more tax breaks. If that doesn't create jobs, what will?

Now I'm starting to think this was written by a robot. Have you actually looked at the issues? Or is this just propaganda time? None of what you mention is being proposed as job creation measures. Republicans want to reduce the size of our bloated government, cut spending so the economy will rebound, cut taxes especially on small business owners and creators (who make up the majority of jobs, by the way), and yes securing our border is important for this country's well-being.

FETUS WORSHIP
If only conservatives felt such passion about children and adults as they do about "the unborn." The born? Who the fuck needs them? Especially if they are poor and/or non-white. Why don't those damn babies get jobs and pull themselves up by their bootstraps? The way my great-great white granddaddy did? With the help of hundreds of slaves.

Name one instance where Republicans have put forth a measure that resulted in widespread loss of life. Can't name one? Shucks! Now, lets try that with liberals. How about Roe V. Wade which has resulted in the extermination of over 50 million babies. How about the eradication of DDT, which experts estimate has indirectly caused the deaths of hundreds of millions of people in under-developed countries. How about the famous Tuskegee Syphilis experiment, where hundreds of black sharecroppers died? I could name more, but there are three.

BORDER SECURITY
Those Mexicans are taking over the southwest. They act like they own it. Oh, that's right, they used to. Until there was a big democratic vote in Mexico to give southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas to the U.S. Did I say vote? Whoops! I meant when we just sent an army down there and took it. So they could learn about Democracy.

You seem a little mixed up. Actually we defeated Mexico in a war and in order to end it peacefully they AGREED to sell us the land you mentioned. The money paid for the Mexican Cession, and the Gadsden Purchase amounted to 25 million, and we paid a further 3.5 million to the people of Mexico. That is 1846 and 1853 dollars. Adjusted to current levels that is over $600 million dollars paid. We didn't take their land. They sold it to us. This stuff used to be in our history books until the liberals took it out.

TALK RADIO
There's a reason they don't call it "think radio."

There is also a reason that liberal talk shows and talk radio stations can't stay on the air (remember Air America?). The more you hear them spout their garbage, the worse the ratings get.

DEATH TAX
You mean Inheritance Tax, don't you? And exactly what did you do to earn it? You win money on a game show, guess what? It's taxed. You win the game of life, why shouldn't it be taxed? "Because Mummy and Paw Paw already paid income taxes on it," you say? They did? On that house they bought in 1966 for $50,000 and you can't wait to sell for $3.5 million? "But those poor farmers, they'll lose their farms." Fine, let's pass a law that family farmers don't have to pay inheritance taxes -- if their main job is farming and they live on the family farm. Isn't it funny that 1700 farm subsidy checks went to Manhattan addresses last year? The family CEO and the family hedge fund manager should be thankful they live in a country that lets them make so much money. They should thank that country by paying their fair share.

Most of those Manhattan Farm Subsidy money takers were liberal organizations and liberal democrats like Ted Turner, David Letterman, Scottie Pippen, Microsoft billionaire Paul Allen, etc.


SOCIALIZED MEDICINE
Let's see, we can socialize war and socialize schools (I don't have kids,but I pay school taxes), we can socialize road building, we can socialize farming (how much did you get last year not to grow corn?), we can socialize football stadiums, we can socialize flood insurance (for all those poor people living in seven-bedroom beach houses), we can socialize bank and auto bailouts, we can socialize retirement, we can socialize airport expansion and access roads, we can socialize space stations, we can socialize downtown parking gargages, we can socialize oil drilling, we can socialize prisons but we can't socialize medicine. Because that would make us Socialists.

Wow, either you don't know what "socialize" means or I'm paying too much to park my car, and see a game. Seriously this is "apples and oranges". Most of the things you mentioned are not mandatory and are therefore not really "socialized". Socialized means it is government run, and you have NO CHOICE, therefore quality plummets accordingly. When we are talking about our health, I'm against that.

HEALTH AND LEGACY BENEFITS ADD $1700 TO EACH DETROIT-MAKE CAR
It's not true but how come the press never asks these questions: How much does executive pay and perks add to each car? How much does the cost of Big Three's lobbyists add to each car? How much does the cost campaign donations add to each car?

What?

SARAH PALIN
George Bush in a dress. Been there, done that.

And yet you think Nancy Pelosi is the "bees knees". Whatever.

UNIONS ARE THE REASON DETROIT'S IN THE TOILET
Who decided to build fleets of crappy cars? The union workers or the CEOs? Who decided to produce 17 million cars a year when they only sell 14 million a year? The union workers or the CEOs? Overpaid, underperforming CEOs and their board room chums killed Detroit.

There is a place for unions. But out of control unions... no way.

FOREIGN AUTO MAKERS DON'T PAY HEALTH CARE
A complete lie. They pay it in the form of taxes which in turn pays for national health care. When was the last time the Big Three paid any Federal taxes? Yet the UAW members pay their taxes.

When was the last time the government bailed out the car companies using taxpayer money? Oh yeah, that was very recent (Obama).

PRAYER IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS
If only Jesus had an opinion on this subject it would end all debate. Oh, yeah, he did! Here's what he had to say on the subject.
Matthew 6:5-8 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

This was a lesson, not about public prayer (which Jesus did many times), but praying with an arrogant heart. But nice to know you're reading your Bible.

THE LIBERALS ARE TURNING US INTO FRANCE!
No, we don't want no stinkin', on-time, high speed trains taking us between New York and Chicago ten times a day. We don't want no stinkin' cradle to grave health care, we don't want government to send paid nannies to help new mothers around the house, we don't want no stinkin' free higher education for everyone. We don't want to live in a place that values auto mechanics as much as they do lawyers, we don't want to live in a place with a divorce rate that is half of ours and where the food is ten times better and healthier. No, we don't want to be France. That would be horrible.

Hey if you love France so much, why don't you move there?

THE FRENCH RUN FROM BATTLES
That Napoleon. What a chicken.

First of all, Napoleon was not French. He was from Corsica and his bloodline was Italian. Secondly, the French have a reputation as lovers, not fighters.

"CRITICS SAY..."
That's what lazy reporters say when they mean, "Republicans say..."

Lame.

BONUS
Noun. Financial reward for doing a spectacularly bad job. Sample usage, "Those guys at AIG really deserve a big bonus this year!"

You mean the ones Obama gave billions of taxpayer money to? oh yeah, them.

THE GOVERNMENT NEVER CREATED A JOB
Then who's paying all those people who work at the Pentagon? At the Post Office? Down at the school your children attend for free? Who is fixing the pot holes and building roads and bridges? Who built the airport in your town, where did the money come from? Why do mayors scream when the military tries to close a base in their town? Who is Boeing building all those planes for? The fact is, the Federal government is the biggest employer in the country. Saying the government never created a job over and over and over again doesn't make it true. It just makes it a bigger lie. Especially if it comes out of the mouth of a Member of Congress who is a person with one of the eleven million, much-coveted government jobs.

First of all no sane person would ever say "the government doesn't create jobs", and I defy you to find someone quoted as saying that. What you probably heard was the correct notion that the government has created TOO MANY GOVERNMENT jobs. We need a smaller central government and a larger private sector. Plain and simple. When the government is one of the largest employers in the land, that means problems.

YOU DECIDE
The Earth is Flat vs the Earth is Round. They are opposite opinions, but they are not equal opinions. Equal time does not equal fairness. Facts are fair. To pretend a fact-free opinion deserves "equal time" is to give it undeserved credibility which is unfair.

Thanks. You just described liberal TV talk shows in a nutshell.

THE SECOND AMMENDMENT
Your Constitutional right to bear arms does not trump my Constitutional right not to get shot. It's time to repeal that ammendment and write a new one.

This shows that the Founding Fathers were much smarter than you. In every country where the general population is unarmed, it is eventually controlled by a vicious centralized totalitarian government. The best way to ensure that we can remain safe in our homes is to have the right to bear arms. By the way, which home do you think a burglar would break into first... the one where the occupants had guns, or the one with unarmed people? You want a new amendment? Here's one. Make one declaring it impossible for liberals like you to mess with the Constitution. By the way, can guns fire by themselves? So really, guns aren't the problem. Criminals are the problem. And I have a right to defend myself.

TAX REFORM
The first reform is to call it "Tax Fairness." What we need is tax fairness. As Warren Buffet says, it's insane that his secretary has to pay a higher tax rate than he does. It'd be nice if the people who made their fortunes in America paid their country back instead of trying to cheat it out of a few dollars more.

So you favor the conservative notion of a flat tax? Great! Something we can agree on.

CRIPPLING CORPORATE TAXES
If only American corporations bothered to pay them. How much did Ford, GM, GE, The New York Times and Time Inc. pay in taxes last year? Oh, yeah, zero. It seems high taxes aren't the problem at all. It's idiot CEOs and their over-compensated boards. The tax rate could be a thousand percent and it wouldn't make a difference if they don't pay it. This is a bogus Republican talking point.

Those organizations you mentioned are liberal ones. By the way, Obama gave them billions. That's your man.

GAY RIGHTS
Should gays, women and minorities pay lower taxes for having fewer rights than straight, white men?

They have all the same rights as any other American citizen. Let me ask you... should gays be treated special just because they like having sex with people like themselves? Where do we draw the line then?

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